Its almost like every day when I drive my kids to school, we pass by a firehouse and on almost any given day, theres a couple of the firefighters sitting in front, if the weathers good, theyre sitting in front of the firehouse. As a coach, as a manager, what youre doing is creating the conditions and holding the space so that your people can learn what it is that its going to take for them to be able to succeed. The weekend, by nearly every measure, has been lovely. So, first of all, there is no operator manual, as you said, and Im sorry, I dont have it either. It helps to build relationships . You're going to meet people and learn things as you progress. Access more than 40 courses trusted by Fortune 500 companies. When can you take these? Exactly. In 20 digestible video lessons, you'll learn how to: Evaluate your idea and narrow the definition of your ideal next job, Build a career change strategy, set tangible milestones, and find regular time for this important work, Stay organized and focused on the activities that will accelerate your process the most, Update your resume and LinkedIn profile so you make sense to your target audience, Create a cover letter that enables people to see right away why you're the perfect candidate for the jobs you want the most, Enlist the help of people you know -- and meet new people in your desired career field, Deal with those moments of fear and self-doubt that are part and parcel of this process, Interview like a pro (with specific tips on how to answer the "Why the change?" How To Deal With A Job You Hate And Transition Out Of It || Career Advice | @letstalkcareerswithsara This video provides practical advice on how to cope wit. Hes also realizing that predictability and stability are important to him and their lies the tension. The good news about bad jobs is, once you finally feel complete about that part of your journey, once you believe that you've done everything you were meant to do there, something inside of. HBR Learnings online leadership training helps you hone your skills with courses like Career Management. I love that kind of a relationship where you can speak to someone and they are looking to listen. You have this pain in your past, and it stirs up a lot of emotions, and I believe that those emotions can be used as fuel. But let me be clear, coaching is not therapy, and while Mick, like many of my clients, brought a whole lifetime of experiences to the coaching, some of them traumatic, its not my role to dig into those experiences and help my clients make sense of them, and in some cases heal from them. I feel skilled in it, but the challenge is whenever those factors continue to change and thats where I yearn for stability and structure and Im like, Why cant I build this?. If you are dealing with a leadership challenge, Id love to hear from you and possibly have you on the show next season. Does it require me to helicopter or does it require me to take a step back and let them fly? MURIEL WILKINS: So, you sort of have to proactively look at, well, how much capacity do I actually have? Because you now have a much larger organization that youre dealing with. MURIEL WILKINS: So, doing the work to get more of a solid grasp is where youre at, right? MICK: A sense is probably a good way to put it. Hell, even the kids have magically cooperated with one another for nearly three days straight. And when you're working full time, getting time and headspace to have those new experiences is a real stretch. / How Do I Transition Out of My Current Career? Whether thats a hurt guy on the battlefield or a guy thats struggling with talking to his wife at night. The good news is that you now have a mini blueprint for how to transition out of career your hate. I see it differently. You may hate your job, but it gives you the perfect schedule to work on your passion. Before you can confidently explain to anyone why you want to move from leading people to working on your own, it's critical that you view this as a step forward . You need to have patience sometimes." Provide adequate notice. Much gratitude to the leaders who join me in these coaching conversations, and to you, our listeners, who share in their journeys. MURIEL WILKINS: of the challenges and more being a leader around that. So, Ive really been kind of focused on that for the last few years, and I would say that its those two things that kind of work in sync, right? I previously had a job that I had once enjoyed but had truly begun to wear on me, so much so that it was hard for me to leave the . 1. MICK: Its funny, right? The thing that Ive realized as Ive gotten older and older is wow, its more than just I dont want to move my family. You can join at coachingrealleaderscommunity.com. I feel like thats what Im doing in some of these situations where Im like, Okay, Ive got you, and its like, Man, let that little bird fly.. If . I can see the different perspectives on both sides because with the candidates, kind of my personal quote is serve excellently, suffer well. Do you really, truly want out of a job you no longer enjoy? He knew he could perform as an individual contributor with no problems because he had done the job before. In a sense, youre saying yes without really knowing what youre saying yes to when you take on these projects. If you're working at a job you dislike, why should you go the extra mile while you're there? And I'm not. That actually is a huge distinction between being the doer and being the leader. Its a general direction. Make sure those items are squared away. MICK: Yeah. MICK: So, I feel like Im at this really interesting place in my career where I feel like as an enlisted guy, its not that youre chasing rank its that youre chasing the next job that you think will bring more satisfaction and all of that. I believe that. MURIEL WILKINS: Well, why should you be? I have to say Ive seen my network really explode over the last, I would even say couple years, and so being able to develop these relationships of people that share similar values and have had similar experiences and then being able to transition and not only draw from their experience pool, but also to be able to kind of connect the pieces. MURIEL WILKINS: Is that right? Build Your Network Before Quitting. So you've figured out what you want to do, and that's a fantastic first step towards career nirvana. So, I think I look back at my story and the greatest challenges were all the personal ones. But for Mick, I had a sense there was something a little deeper at play that was causing this discomfort for him. Should You Quit Your Job? I mean, theres a bit of a paradox here, Mick, because on the one hand based on our conversation so far, I see you as this advocate and champion of others. Its actually fear-based. Every plan that we make is based off of the worst possible outcome, and then we plan for that and we train for that, and then most of the time it doesnt happen. How dare you not be confident? You know what I mean? Absolutely, but youve got to let their work be their work, their path be their path. So. Dr. Chaz Austin helps you evaluate the pros and cons of leaving a job and taking on a new opportunity somewhere else. Reduce your hours. Is this what it looks like to you? In this period of pandemic-inspired career reevaluation, you may find yourself wishing you didnt have to manage people but worrying what leaving a leadership role will mean for you professionally. It just feels like the mountain of tasks just continues to build. Some opportunities are very clear and specific. MICK: Yes. Which honestly I mean, going back to the whole purpose thing I mean, I can see how that would also be more consistently fulfilling because whenever youre trying to always protect, honestly, youre always looking for somebody to fight. Construct a weekly or daily schedule that will enable you to wake up everyday and know what, exactly, you need to accomplish in the name of bettering your situation or life. MICK: Thanks, Muriel. Its more knowing and having confidence that when something comes up such as travel, having the confidence that when you come back, you will be able to catch up and you will make the space to catch up and you will plan for that. It says, lets just move within this little area, because if we go there, what might happen? To me, I think you are at a place of theres a shift around what is the leadership belief that you want to hold as you move forward into this next stage where its off of the battlefield, and as you put it, where youre sitting now, and then more importantly as you move into this exit stage. Theres a level of acceptance where you just say, yes, I might die doing this and then you accept it and then you move. There goes that carefree hammock feeling. So, thats one. MICK: Man, Im going to write that down. So, what Im hearing is being at this place where you now see your exit on the horizon. And, for the love of it all, you deserve relaxing Sundays. How doable is this transition, given where you're at today, and where this would take you? MICK: I think whats so hard about it is that what it used to be before, it was very straightforward. Hi, its Muriel. Its when you finally start seeing signs for your exit and youre like, oh my gosh, its 80 miles away.. Once you gain at least a bit of clarity on jobs that may fulfill you more than your current one, it's time to realistically assess the situation. But as we got into the coaching session, he realized that the real work starts now before he even takes that next step. MURIEL WILKINS: Right. Which it sounds like theres a lot of them that do. I liken it to sounds like you run from what you said, right? Im only going to make, like, one office hour a week. The course also includes: sample resumes, networking letters, cover letters, and resignation letters; a Career Pivot Roadmap worksheet, and a heaping helping of encouragement from Jenny. What should you be saying yes to? Let me explain the difference, or do you know the difference let me ask you between a request and a demand? If no, then maybe you need to think through an interim step or, as I call it, a lily pad jump that takes you halfway across the pond, with a concrete in place to build up the career capital you need to go the distance in coming months or years. If you flat-out decide that you're stuck, then guess what? I think thats rarely a part of that conversation. Hes had a successful career in the military and is deeply invested in his professional growth. The note can be fairly briefyour supervisor has likely already received your more detailed resignation letter and address the main points of your plan. When you decide to transition at work, some of the things you may wish to discuss are updating personal information such as your name, pronouns or employee photograph in internal systems. I would say out the last seven or eight weeks, Ive traveled for about four of it. I used to know, hey, if I can bench press this much and run this fast, then that was success. Notify your supervisor Tell your supervisor you intend to leave your job before notifying your coworkers and clients. MURIEL WILKINS: So, this notion of start with what is the impact that youre trying to make, what is this sense of how you want to express yourself and all the experiences that youve had, start with that and what it would look like, and then you can then determine what form does it actually take. 2. MURIEL WILKINS: Its like, I dont know I have spent many, many, many, too many hours that I can ever count driving up the New Jersey turnpike, I95 or anything on I95. That is one of the greatest things about the military and also one of the hardest things about the military is that there is a feeling of as, as Jocko Willink likes to put it, extreme ownership, that the best leaders engage their people in a holistic perspective, and you can see that become a very toxic sort of approach that is stifling and overwhelming and inappropriate, but you also see that with really great leaders where they genuinely care about the lives, the entire lives of their people. Remember that how you make a move is just as critical to your reputation as whichmore energizing non-management role you take. The great thing about finding out a specific path or that your "dream" job isn't for you is that you have the opportunity to change direction. I should be a malleable, living and breathing document that guides you along the way. Let me show you the different ways of doing something, but ultimately the responsibility lies with you. So theres a bit of, I think, as you scale in leadership, being responsible for coaching your people, but not feeling so responsible to the outcome that it then moves you into this protective mechanism. Its like, Hey can you come support this training exercise, and thats like a week long, and I know exactly when Im going to be there. Holding this certification can also allow you other financial and industry jobs should you want to transition out of accounting or change careers entirely. I think that thats the challenge, is that whenever you are a people person, like myself, you want to be engaged in those things. MICK: Yeah. But if you have made up your mind that you never want to work for a boss again, then you can choose to out. Then Ive transitioned to a place where its far more nebulous, and now I think that there is a very real aspect of that, that if I fail someone that not only will I fail that person, but that I will fail and it will be known by others. The boundary is on yourself and how much do you actually need to give to feel like youre supporting them? You can find several clues related to what your "next great job" might look and feel like (and be called) by spending a couple of hours attempting to define (at least in ballpark terms) what "ideal" looks like. Again, I dont have full, full knowledge of being in the military and being deployed, particularly in hardship areas, but I would imagine that what it means to protect someone in those environments really is a life or death situation. What companies do you need to research? Theres a brief mention of suicide near the beginning of this episode. Well see if actually comes through. The course is $199. Hey, can you sit on this taskforce, or can you work this group? MICK: Yes. Youre almost there. Don't wait to have another job lined up if you don't need to, but plan accordingly. You have your area of expertise and you do that thing well. The boundary is really not for the other. Its going to happen. I mean, I dont know. Im trying to find a way to have a better filter so that I can be brilliant on the basics and then also not overwhelm myself. MICK: I think in kind of a subtle way, when I look at people, theres part of me that maybe catastrophizes where theyre at almost as, like, a protective mechanism so that Im not shocked and surprised again, even though I know, realistically, theres only so much that you can do for that. Your plan can include a schedule for leaving your full-time job and starting your new job, and you can also notify your supervisor of your last day of work. What does it look like to have people close to you pass away? In your case, the task is around them being able to get through these challenges. Ideally, notify your supervisor about your resignation in person. Follows these steps to make your transition to a new job more successful: 1. MICK: I would agree completely, and honestly, I think in the past I mostly received demands. MURIEL WILKINS: What Im suggesting is that as you lead to think about are there other ways you can lead over and beyond the protective approach that youve taken so far. Why? So, yeah, I think I just said a lot, but yeah, thats generally where my brain goes when it comes to performance is how do I, not the organization, how do I define my success in a way that is still good for the organization, but is also good for me? So, I really kind of found a passion for wellness and behavioral health advocacy really, and trying to break the stigma of that in the military. I think thats the scary thing for me is that I feel like I really care about people and I believe in being an advocate for people. MURIEL WILKINS: Right, right. Youre not being told what you need to do next. MICK: I think it would look like investing in people in that sort of mentorship role. While at the same time, not sacrificing yourself in the process. What will hiring managers and your peers think about you? Write that stuff down, too. All of those things take a hit whenever I take more onto my plate than its required, even though it looks like another feather in your cap in regards to how well youre doing. So its worth proposing a formal role or title that reflects the value you bring to the company even if youre not directly leading a team. Apply at coachingrealleaders.com. Thats the biggest one. How would it look different in terms of how you approach things than the way you do now? Your experience is your experience. Learn. MICK: Very well. He was recently promoted to a leadership role, but has also been through hard personal situations along the way. I was thinking a request I can basically say no to and a demand is, yeah, its going to happen whether I like it or not. Whats clear to me is you are somebody that is driven by purpose. Hes realized that he has to figure out what to say yes to and what to say no to even when there are lots of exciting opportunities coming his way. So, in my childhood, I think we moved 24 times before I turned 18. Hes moving towards something new and different, and yet he wants to have some stability and predictability. I typically work with clients over the course of several months, but on this show, we have a one-time coaching meeting focusing on a specific leadership challenge theyre facing. What they dont know is when its going to happen, but theres always somebody on standby. Freaking. I would dare to say that I was good enough. When Mick reached out for coaching, he wanted to work through what he does next after his military career. So, its almost like programming flexibility, is also something that I really wrestle with because I think I can keep this within capacity, but then if any random thing happens, then all of a sudden the whole system gets kind of thrown off. It is possible to do so and to transition into a career that provides time and lifestyle freedom.I exp. Do those things when it's inconvenient. So, I mean, look, the hundred-miler that youre going to do is a one-time thing. Thats the real thing that I like to think that I at least have an inkling of potential in, and I would enjoy to be something in regards to that, to have a voice that people want to listen to. ), How to Nail Your First Post-College Job Search, New LinkedIn Features that Scream "Help You Land a Job", What to Do When Your "Usual" Job Search Methods Aren't Working Anymore, How to Calm the Voices and Make Genuine Progress With Your First (Real) Job Search. Its like, lets go. Getting out is the challenging part. This is the first time that Im kind of growing past what the military has provided. As his transition out of the military approaches, he wants to figure out whats next for him professionally. Then there are other things, like working groups are a great example where well take a complex problem and then a bunch of people will hop on a call and try to talk about it. So, I know for me, that is one of the things that I really yearned for whenever I got a career is that I was like, hey, I dont mind working hard, but I dont want to move my family. Who do you need to know? MURIEL WILKINS: I dont know if youve ever done any long distance running like marathons or, or anything like that. Honestly, I think Ive probably not done the best job and really clearly defining what those more nebulous tasks are actually requiring of me, and then that starts to encroach on my ability to not have to work quote/unquote, overtime. Obviously, that doesnt exist in the military, but in order to kind of put myself into a position where, because I said yes to something, Im not going to let it fail, but at the same time, its going to require far more effort than potentially Id planned. The interviewer may wonder if you stayed at the. I love to work out and its an outlet for me. Its this whole new kind of realm. I dont think thats really the most healthy long term strategy. I would want to be able to have essentially autonomy of my time. Your career is worth a noble effort. So thats kind of where you are. Host Muriel Wilkins coaches him through how to best prepare for the next phase of his career. against the "What, exactly, is involved in making this happen?". My sense is that particularly as youve risen up in your career and the level at which youre at now, youre probably receiving way more requests now than you are demands. How is it feeling? So, with that in mind, what do you think you could be doing when these requests come your way? I think before zooming into that, it would be helpful to zoom out and to start defining what does success look like after this five year exit? Theres something deeply innately satisfying about that to be able to look at the next few weeks and be like, I like that. That I see something going on and I say, Oh man, lets stop everything to try to deal with this thing, even though, one, its not my specialty and two, its realistically probably something thatll buff out if I just allowed them the space and the time and the empowerment with resources to deal with it on their own. Its like being a helicopter parent. This isn't just OK -- it's a vital part of the process. Theres something about that that it becomes this mindset that permeates everything in life. MICK: I would say that it is a need to move from a fear-based mentality to a more faith-based because that really aligns with the direction that were trying to take this, to go from that protective approach to a more challenging approach, and then also aligning my future vision, the one that Im driving towards in five years and then recognizing that with that vision in mind, I can then make those tactical level decisions and be more consistent with them in order to actually reach that vision well. 1 thing that recruiters and employers ask is what you've been doing with your time," she says. MURIEL WILKINS: Good. But without a formal role change, that might seem like micromanaging. MURIEL WILKINS: Okay. So, what does that mean? I was on a call last week with someone who kept saying "divine purpose." MURIEL WILKINS: Right. MURIEL WILKINS: So, I think we can bring this to a close, but Id love to hear in the simplest way possible for you what your key takeaways are and what youre leaving the conversation with. Your chest tightens like a fist. Is that what led to this? Now I have to be the guy dropping a hammer to be like, Hey man, if you want to be here, you need to prove it to me. I got to say, I feel like both of those drives feel very natural and just like theyre just in me. One of my coaching clients was promoted to a sales director role at an enterprise software company because he consistently outperformed his peers. MURIEL WILKINS: All of those things can be expressed in a number of different ways. What's your next career move? Here's how to really quit your 9-5 job if that is your goal. I feel like Im grappling with how to express those effectively. Im trying to find a way to synchronize those opportunities and to be very selective about which ones to choose in order to transition out of the military. MURIEL WILKINS: Yeah. MICK: I think of two things. When you look at your move back to being an individual contributor as a re-entry that allows you to bring new life experiences and skills to improve your offering, youll have an easier time embracing and explaining it. Thats the first one that comes to my mind is giving guys challenges to overcome. Then on the flip side the guys who are fully qualified, I feel like a lot of what I spend my time doing is trying to teach them how to protect themselves from all the mistakes that I made. To any person, they might think theyre not doing anything. Theyve planned for the potential that there will be a fire, and so, theyve created capacity by having a couple of people actually being able to just sit in front of the firehouse waiting. Actually, that is absolutely the biggest one. 3)Show how you can lead without formally managing. As you said, your work is your work. I want to be able to look and see stability, and I think thats why the military honestly works so well for me is because it is a rigid structure and I know where I fit. The bottom line with this step is that you need to balance the "Wouldn't a job in ___________ be awesome?" Or, perhaps, it's a marketing role within manufacturing, with intentions to ultimately shift into healthcare marketing. Last, but most assuredly not least, when you make the decision to get yourself out of a job you hate (or really dislike, or have outgrown), you absolutely don't have to spend month upon month feeling like you're being dragged across fiery coals. MICK: Im trying to do a 100-miler this year. Exactly. Learn how to quit your job and find a career that aligns with your passions and values. If I had to say, hey, you have multiple muscles, leadership muscles, one of them is leading by protecting, fill in the blank, what are other ways that you could lead by? So, to move him forward, I invite him to reframe the question hes been asking himself. My coaching conversation with Mick went deeper than most clients on this show. You know what's going to happen if you have no road map? MICK: All of a sudden, Im just grappling with Im going to do the things that I feel like are my strengths, but Im also keenly aware that I have a lot of weaknesses, and I think thats one of those underlying kind of uncertainties. Get Comfortable With 'Failing'. Do you have the educational qualifications, or certifications these roles require? So, it was very, very unstable in regards to geographical location. These strategies will help you demonstrate to others and yourself that its not a step backward but a transition that will make you happier and more productive, which benefits everyone. Consider an IT director at a Fortune 500 company who led a sizeable group of managers and their direct reports. What choices do you have in front of you? Its me actually knowing how much of that currency I have to spend, because very regularly I dont have a solid grasp on that. Earn badges to share on LinkedIn and your resume. His work is not just tactical in terms of what practical steps he needs to take. I enjoy it. Many managers who step down will typically choose individual contributor roles similar to ones they had in the past. But he was careful to first find the right person to replace him (and effectively be his boss). Its like, ah, that only goes so far. I ran into some significant issues right after I finished our very hard training pipeline. They're complex and there is usually a lot more to them than we see on the surface. I think one of the easy ways of leading by protection is that sometimes its kind of hard to see what right looks like, but its really easy to see what wrong looks like. MICK: I think one of the things that I wrestle with is that at the 15-year mark in the military, youve done a lot. MURIEL WILKINS: Okay. Worse, you're closing in on that dreaded Sunday night moment when you flip open your laptop to see what emails await you; that ritualistic, soul-sucking "re-entry" into the week ahead.
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