Its not her place to tell you to pray, and if 40 min conversations are okay Id be surprised. Exactly. What the hell kind of awesome is this?! I think its good to emphasise personal impact is because people who overshare a habit or view that dictates their moral principles (religion/politics) will often defend that its a personal choice or calling and part of who they are. You dont build relationships by telling people what they want to hear so you dont hurt their feelings. Although this may seem counterintuitive, it is the clearest way to communicate your feelings to them and helps to avoid miscommunication. That would be silly. And Ive been in that officefat shaming, smugly superior and seemingly contagious obsessions with weight were really uncomfortable for several people in the office (who were quite reasonably not particularly eager to disclose why). Most denominations dont, but some do. Im thinking its because I rolled my eyes and said Youre f-ing joking right? He is just sharing the details of his life, just like I share mine when I talk about my daughter or my new car or whatever else I have going on. Start your day with breathing exercises for stress relief. Thats pretty much all I came to say. And if she still talks to the remote worker, at least from my perspective, theres not a whole lot you can do about that, unless you want to run up the flag that theyre having long, non-work-related conversations and its distracting or something like that. As a non Christian with a lot of proselytizing family members I have a hard line on that one. You phrased it much better than I. I think the OP getting irked by the bible study and picnics illustrates that coworker has moved into BEC territory. Once I saw this guy on a bridge about to jump. I know that we generally take LWs at their word and accept their descriptions, but there are two things here that jump out at me. That seems to me to be very contrary to the usual advice about handling annoying issues that arent actually impacting your work (outside of annoying you). I grew up kind of on the fringes of a lot of these groups and this lady would fit right in. My taught worked at a public school and participated in a bible study before work. I dont watch the show, but it was hard to not hear about what happened to the church on the show. We live in a country where folks have been abused and even killed for being gay, and at least some of that hatred has been fueled by religion. Maybe I tend to skew more secular than is common in the US(? I know shes alienated other coworkers with her repeated discussions of religion and probably just enjoyes having an outlet, so at first I didnt think it was a big deal, but she keeps taking up more and more of my work time. It was a Seventh Day Adventist vs. Southern Baptist. I bring in mini cheesecakes for Shavuot, the (minor) holiday marked by eating sweet dairy foods like blintzes. +100! So if the person is not already religious, theyre fair game? In my case, other people commented, Dont tell me what a rotten person I am and that I will burn in hell. I still get the heebie-jeebies when people try to discuss religion at work in any substantial way. I grew up going to a church like the one Cersei attended, and I had a hunch from your post that she was an extremist to the worst degree. Just go straight to Satanism, start leaving leaflets. The nature of her position is that her workload is hectic at certain times and dead at others giving her plenty of time for these religious discussions. Thats weird. Have you seen [insert movie here]? No biggie. If it were me, I would skip the direct convo with your coworker and go to HR and let them handle it. He wouldnt share it around or slip it into the communal magazine rotation or anything, but he could often be found on lunch break wrapped in a snuggie and reading either it or the Bible in his office. But I would advocate a focus more on the impact on OPs concentration than on the topic, in any case. Why not? He left nothing to the imagination. Yup. If thats a serious question, I would say that in any functional workplace this would go over very, very poorly. I think when its related to religion, thats when youre crossing a line. Are Cerseis chats with the remote co-worker really about G-ds Will, or is it about other (possibly even work related) stuff where Cersei is saying things like G-d willing this will happen or things like that? Is she showing off? Managers sometimes get it into their heads that they have to let people be stupid at work if a protected class is supposedly involved. I once had a coworker who would spend several hours a day on the phone, making personal calls about lawsuits she had going against multiple former employers. This is why its I cant come to bed, neverjaunty is being WRONG on the internet! If theyre WRONG, then if you type or orate long enough then they will see the error of their ways as to which is the best My Little Pony. Hobbies dont prescribe values the way religion does. Going beyond that is where Id draw the line. 8 Ways to Lose Friends by Talking Politics | Psychology Today Can't stop talking bad about religion . The nastiest screaming fights I ever saw about religion at work were between two extremely religious people who happened to belong to different denominations of Protestant Christianity. I agree with this and think this is where Cersei needs to draw the line. Sure I should be more up front about my non-religion, but easier said than done in Kentucky. Well, God is in the tub.. You can do it nicely. But just one coworker to another, asking, How was your weekend and the response is Oh, I went to the movies on Saturday and church on Sunday doesnt raise my hackles at all. Also you can tweak it by adding Im not interested somewhere in your response, or something to that effect. (To explain the possible background to the cat thing.). Telling people that they need to listen to her prophet NO WAY. You should do X is a massive pet peeve of mine. An employee who also shared our religion did mention to her that she may want to reign it in because it could be offensive to someone of a different religion and theyd likely have a valid complaint if they were to take it to management due to the level and frequency of her discussions. It's probably one of the oldest tricks in the book to avoid someone especially in public, pretending to be on a call. A diet rich in omega-3 fatty acids, antioxidants, and high-fiber foods can help reduce your risk for cardiovascular disease and help increase your resilience to stress. If you threw it away they would leave another one. If you find you cannot do that, maybe consider talking to a professional about compulsive behaviors or impulse control. (She was also the worst employee Ive ever encountered in any workplace amongst other things, she used to watch soap operas on a tiny TV in her open cube). I had one workplace where I was already looked down on for my Obama bumper sticker when I rolled up day one. What do you mean its not funny? I mentioned to a colleague in a meeting that she had something on her forehead. I have a coworker who behaves almost the same way with cats. I was very firm, and was the only one one to actually get removed. So take a breath, focus, and quit planning your response out in your head while they are talking to you. Which was okay by me. I cant say anything about it because the boss is also Jewish and encourages it. If were re-defining religion as a euphemism for specific sects of Christianity which are known specifically to preach extremist hatred, then my response about the general clearly doesnt apply to the specific. Im responding to the (possibly flippant) suggestion that people who dont already know what a pentacle/pentagram is start wearing one to deal with pushy Christians. Fascists of all stripes use fear to keep their followers in line, or try to force others to follow them. I have a Hyundai now but I had a Mazda for 10 years before that and hell yeah we made many vrooms. And here I thought that cats *were* gods. Religion is one possible identity. And Im not assuming that she wont be able to turn if off when necessary. I grew up Catholic and I dont remember ever hearing about this. She also gave our other coworker a childrens bible to give to her son, and now the two talk about bible stories and how to explain to children why God killed so many people, or how we know God even exists. Soooohow about that sportsball team? =My usual line for conversation topics Im not a fan of. People have a wide, wide range to experiencing just about everything, and it isnt always to find things like this more offensive. Human there is a missing kib worth of kibble, I am starving, you are starving me, stop starving me, feed me now. If youre interested, the book American Fascists: The Christian Right and the War on America explains all this. Shes also very senior to me, and we are friends, so I dont feel comfortable asking her to cut it out directly. I almost said amen to that, but in context, Ive decided to go with a hearty YES. Exhortations to prayer and long phone calls about church stuff can reasonably be expected to stop, but the coworker is asked a question about weekend plans she should feel able to answer honestly that shes going to a church group or w/e. These conversations can be disruptive to a positive, harmonious work environment. But maybe she means an Old Testament prophet came to her in a dream or something? What was that teacher thinking? Most of the time I need one earbud out to hear the phone and if I can hear the phone I can hear her (open offices for ya). I dont do crossfit but I think a combination Bible study and other activity group sounds fun. The priest should have gotten over it, and over himself. I love the looks I get when I tell people I met my husband at church. However, I imagine her manager would be interested to know that shes having 40-minute-long social conversationsevery day when shes supposed to be working, and you could approach it from that angle as well as from the distraction angle. I just made a similar comment before seeing yours. The other two are tacky and immature and career-inhibiting. A lot of the polling station staff and volunteers were from that church, and one of them had a t-shirt with a huge picture of a realistic-looking cross on it and the logo TRY THIS ON FOR SIZE. If you want to stop, then stop. a Miata for a while, and my wifes CX-5 is surprisingly delightful to drive for a family crossover. The other conversations (the kids stuff and Gods will stuff) sound consensual so the focus should really be on the fact that a 40 minute personal call isnt appropriate, not the subject matter (although if a 3rd party was affected by the event, I can see that as insensitive). Im sure you wanted to be respectful of the patients desires, but really it shouldnt have been a big deal. Do you honestly think someone having lengthy conversations about why God kills people is just kooky? It was a response to the director calling out church folks and giving them a chummy atmosphere/leg up at work is wrong. So, I can certainly understand how it would be annoying to other people. If I want religion, Ill go to a religious community center of some sort. I could totally spend 40 minutes a day at work talking about our CX-5 and Miata. What do I do?, I have ADHD and my husband and half my friends have ASD, so pretty much everyone has at least one Special Interest (TM). I think that was being discussed in the context of a conversation with another coworker who had a young child and how to teach the child about God. I had a friend who went to Casey Treats church. However, deadpan heathen responses almost always yield the satisfactory result of subsequent Thumper Avoidance. Its fine to refuse to engage in conversations about religion. He followed it! AWKWARD in the extreme. As far as I know Jews believe in a number of prophets, all of whom predated Jesus, Christians believe in the Jewish prophets and that Jesus was the last prophet, and Muslims believe in the Jewish and Christian prophets and that Mohammed as the last prophet. But it is still *very* important that OP picks and chooses her examples well, and the shes reasonable about what she expects to happen. She kept pressing and finally I told her I would be celebrating my anniversary and she came down on me for flaunting my marriage. my coworker never stops talking and I mean NEVER Theyre good at nastygrams! Yay sportsball! OP.do you work in my office? I have a pentagram tattooed on my left breast. Apparently she was taught that people like me are doomed to the Bad Place because we arent really Christian or something. I dont know whether Im madder at you for saying that or myself for thinking it was safe to drink coffee. BREAKING FOX NEWS June 19, 2023 - Facebook It reminds me of pushy guys trying to find sneaky ways to hit on women. And lets not forget the irony that it is NOT okay to say of gay people I dont care what they do behind closed doors, I just dont want to hear them talking about it at work in reference for why it is wrong for a man to talk about going out to dinner with his husband/boyfriend, etc. Win the points!. She got another jobteaching for Bob Jones University. If that doesn't work, raise your index finger to indicate that you'd like them to pause. Presidents of the LDS church are considered prophets by the faithful, also FLDS have their own prophet. Exactly. 15 Effective Tips on How To Talk Less (And Listen More!) Yeah, I have the same concerns, LBK. But maybe you can try to reframe some of the other stuff, OP. Love that one, and love deploying it when I need to. I dont have to assume anything. 3. But yes, somebody who keeps insisting that you need to know The Truth is not somebody you want to be stuck working with. I, too, am very religious and my work actually deals with ministry, but I would not want to listen to those conversations all day, every day. It blew my mind the first time I encountered the youre doing Christianity wrong thing when I was younger. At a CUUPS Winter Solstice ritual. Psychologist John. How the hell did you do that? Talking about going to church or a church event? How to handle an obnoxious politically obsessed friend Shes a great example of one reason why people want nothing to do with churches. but that does NOT mean its a good idea in any way shape or form just because Id be thinking wow, got a doozy of a work story to bring home today. If its okay for my coworkers to mention going to church on Sunday, its okay for me to mention my weeklong vacation is at a pagan conference of sorts! You want your office to be a neutral space where everyone works together to achieve the same goals: Serving your customers in accordance with your brand promise. *shudder* I feel for you. How To Stop Talking To Someone Who Is Unhealthy For You I meant it more in line with Temperances comment about the coworker belonging to a sect requiring proselytizing. Bring someone into the conversation by asking their opinion of the topic that's being discussed as a monologue . Thank your Miss Kayleigh for the news. You made me think of Deep Thoughts by Jack Handey: If God dwells inside us, like some people say, I sure hope He likes enchiladas, because thats what Hes getting! Yeah, I was pretty annoyed. Northern Conservative Baptist Great Lakes Region, or Northern Conservative Baptist Eastern Region? He said, Northern Conservative Baptist Great Lakes Region. I said, Me, too!. Thats fine for them but doesnt mean everyone is like that . I dont like a lot of popular things and got endless comments by my boss (!) Same thing at a department I worked in. we had to spend a lot of time explaining that the ubiquity of a patently religious thing does not somehow make that thing less religious. Imagine if a manager went out of their way to address only the men in a mixed-gender group, for example. I agree with you. Maybe some of them feel trapped in the conversation and dont know how to disengage without being rude. Social scientists have found that people who talk for more than 30 to 40 seconds are perceived as boring or overly talkative. internal mysteries of the combustion engine Oh my Ford. My favorite Twitter comment on that one was Stigmacho. I just about died. I think it was aimed at the boss who decided to ask how church was during a meeting. But, if a christian co-worker gives something religious to another christian co-worker, tats none of my business because no-one is being pushed not anything they dont want. The World Cup was a HUGE deal. I respect her belief and she respects my non-belief and we just talk about our separate interests. It tends to shut a lot of people up, or get people squawking. My issue isnt working with someone whos religious, its with someone being religious at work, to the extent that youre suggesting a coworker should pray. Can we please not make fun of vegans? It sounds like people are talking about sending their kids to a piece of furniture. Is this a thing? If I know Brenda from Accounting thinks Im a deviant whos going to hell, Im not going to feel comfortable speaking to or working with her. It aint subtle, but its not mean either. But this woman kept asking me, and asking me, and asking me to go to church with her, and I finally told her I already had a church to go to, thinking it would get her to stop.). I have a bunch of good friends who are all christian, and all of our religious views totally clash with one anothers hard core catholic, evangelical, liberal protestant, non-practicing, non-believing catholic, etc. This might be one of the best things Ive ever read on the internet.